The Downhill Slide
I am getting older. I am learning new information and skills throughout the process. My grandparents and parents didn’t offer much advice about the process, but now I realize that was because I wasn’t listening. When they tried to talk to me about it, I didn’t want to hear it. I know it was because I was so terrified of losing them, I closed my mind to the idea. A great loss for me, I’m afraid. Young people are involved in the process of living their lives, so they don’t think they want to listen to stories about moving on. But I am learning to enjoy the process. It is a remarkable, and sometimes challenging, trip.
Memory
We put a premium on remembering – names, addresses, phone numbers, birthdays, etc. (Actually maybe not so much anymore because electronic devices remember it all for us – if we can remember how to use the devices!) I find that as I grow older, I am diligently working on not being to remember a damn thing. Actually, I think I’m getting it down. I used to address people by their name. Now it’s “Amy, Cheryl, Camille, Andrea, Athena”. If I’m talking about a film, it’s “You know the one that was so long and in the middle I looked at you and asked ‘Do you like this?’ and it had that famous actress, you know the one – blond, she was in that movie with that actor, you remember the one, the guy with the . . . ” My kids have started filling in the blanks when we’re talking. I’m starting to feel like the ventriloquist’s dummy – you know the one, maybe his name was Charlie, not sure. I can check it on Google.
Penmanship
I am working on handwriting that looks like I was in an earthquake when writing. Messy, slanted back and forward, shakey, lots of misspellings, writing numbers incorrectly. I make so many mistakes when writing checks now, I’m going to have to start paying my bills on-line. (using devices again.)
Shuffling
I am not talking cards here. Balance becomes tricky as you get older. And it’s a lot further to the floor than it was when you were 2. And broken bones take a lot longer to mend. There are some secrets to managing the issue and I’m working on them. Banisters are a godsend. Just gravitate to them and hang on for dear life! Sometimes, if I have to go a long way, a cane helps. In fact, the other day I went to my grandson’s cross country meet. I parked on the wrong side of the IMMENSE high school campus, so I had to hike to the other side, on grass (a whole other challenge and why my husband and I are giving up taking wreaths to the cemeteries this year. But that’s a whole different story.) Anyway, my cane was a third leg, and I made it across. And, shuffling helps. When you pick up your feet, you risk losing your balance. So sliding feet along the ground helps. I call it the reverse Michael Jackson.
Dressing
I can no longer put on pants standing up. That requires being able to balance on one leg for more than one second, not to mention the ability to hop. I am now working on dressing in a chair. I can put my pants on the floor, slide my feet into the leg openings and pull up. Once the feet appear out the bottom, I can stand and pull them up. I’m getting quite good at it. Bras are another challenge. I used to hook the clasps in the front and then slide them around my middle so they were positioned in the back and the cups were in front. That twisting motion can be quite painful now. I’ve tried some alternatives, including front clasps, undershirts, sports bras. All have some shortcomings. Clasps themselves present a problem to arthritic fingers. Uncontrolled bouncing is uncomfortable, and I suspect elicits some serious eye rolling from observers! So that’s off the table. I’m researching all options, so one of these days I’ll hit on the best solution. I’m also looking for the best way to put on a jacket or coat. I can get the first arm in, but then the garment hangs uselessly down my back. It’s a challenge reaching my other arm around to grab hold of the other half. I am in the process of perfecting a little body twist dance to get that half swinging close enough to my other hand so I can get hold of it to put it on.
Bathroom
Remember learning to control your need to go to the bathroom. I’m working on forgetting that in favor of waiting until the last minute, or dealing with getting blindsided by sudden urges. When my body decides that p—-ping is in order, it warns me with a sudden, unexpected cramp, gas (embarrassing if I’m with others), and then it’s “Katie, bar the door!”) I’m learning if you don’t heed the first warning IMMEDIATELY, you may regret it (the embarrassing part). I still remember a day in late summer when we took our son and grandson to the mountains to pick currants. I was doing just fine. We had only been on the road for 30 minutes when the cramp hit. We reached a fork in the road where there was some road work being done and a there was a porta potty by the side of the road. I said to my husband, pull over there, and I rushed in to use the workers’ facility. It was not the Ritz, but I was sure grateful it was there. I’ll bet the workers were surprised!
When my bladder signals “need to pee”, I’m practicing heading for the bathroom. No more do I linger, wiggle, cross my legs. If I do, the results are unpleasant, and again can result in embarrassment. And of course, my body has decided that I now need to get up in the night at least once. So I stumble to the bathroom in the dark to take care of business. I know where everything is in my house, so I don’t bother to turn on a light. I just go by feel. The other night I made too quick a turn and ran into the wall! Needless to say, in all things bathroom, I am learning a new course of action.
Getting up from a table
You may wonder why it takes older people so long to get up from the table and get moving. We simple can’t do it fast any more. In fact, there have been times when we’ve spent over two hours catching up with old friends at a restaurant when I’ve wondered, in passing, or course, whether I could just remain at the table indefinitely. Anyway, I am perfecting the process of looking graceful as I rise and leave a venue. I rise and slowly reach for my purse, make some final statement, and look around, as if I’m taking in the venue one more time. I am secretly giving my bones time to prepare for what’s coming, and assessing the best way to move forward without running into anything or anyone or falling. Now I take a step, stop, and glance around. Okay, that first step worked. Legs held me up. Knees didn’t buckle. Back is not screaming. I can proceed. I shuffle forward trying to look like I’m gliding gracefully across the floor.
TMI
I used to love hubbub. Dogs barking, kids playing, phone ringing, dryer blowing at home; kids talking, bells ringing, loudspeakers interrupting, at work. Not so much anymore. If the television is on, dogs are moving around, kids are playing, and I’m also required to participate in a conversation, my brain feels like it’s going to explode. My heart starts beating faster, moving towards a panic attack. Too much stimulation. I head to the bathroom, out to the deck, into the garden to take a deep breath. I never realized how wonderful peace and quiet can be! As an adult I was never much of a sleeper (what working mom (married or single) was!. Now I find it hard to get up 5:30, and so nice to just settle back into the covers for a couple hours more. Maybe because nothing hurts when I’m lying there, maybe it’s just the silence.
Older people have a lot of learning and unlearning to do. Please try to remember we are busy learning a lot of new skills that go with grandkids, retirement, health issues. Take it easy on us.
The Downhill Slide
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Posted: May 7, 2026 by J Flaugher
The Downhill Slide
I am getting older. I am learning new information and skills throughout the process. My grandparents and parents didn’t offer much advice about the process, but now I realize that was because I wasn’t listening. When they tried to talk to me about it, I didn’t want to hear it. I know it was because I was so terrified of losing them, I closed my mind to the idea. A great loss for me, I’m afraid. Young people are involved in the process of living their lives, so they don’t think they want to listen to stories about moving on. But I am learning to enjoy the process. It is a remarkable, and sometimes challenging, trip.
Memory
We put a premium on remembering – names, addresses, phone numbers, birthdays, etc. (Actually maybe not so much anymore because electronic devices remember it all for us – if we can remember how to use the devices!) I find that as I grow older, I am diligently working on not being to remember a damn thing. Actually, I think I’m getting it down. I used to address people by their name. Now it’s “Amy, Cheryl, Camille, Andrea, Athena”. If I’m talking about a film, it’s “You know the one that was so long and in the middle I looked at you and asked ‘Do you like this?’ and it had that famous actress, you know the one – blond, she was in that movie with that actor, you remember the one, the guy with the . . . ” My kids have started filling in the blanks when we’re talking. I’m starting to feel like the ventriloquist’s dummy – you know the one, maybe his name was Charlie, not sure. I can check it on Google.
Penmanship
I am working on handwriting that looks like I was in an earthquake when writing. Messy, slanted back and forward, shakey, lots of misspellings, writing numbers incorrectly. I make so many mistakes when writing checks now, I’m going to have to start paying my bills on-line. (using devices again.)
Shuffling
I am not talking cards here. Balance becomes tricky as you get older. And it’s a lot further to the floor than it was when you were 2. And broken bones take a lot longer to mend. There are some secrets to managing the issue and I’m working on them. Banisters are a godsend. Just gravitate to them and hang on for dear life! Sometimes, if I have to go a long way, a cane helps. In fact, the other day I went to my grandson’s cross country meet. I parked on the wrong side of the IMMENSE high school campus, so I had to hike to the other side, on grass (a whole other challenge and why my husband and I are giving up taking wreaths to the cemeteries this year. But that’s a whole different story.) Anyway, my cane was a third leg, and I made it across. And, shuffling helps. When you pick up your feet, you risk losing your balance. So sliding feet along the ground helps. I call it the reverse Michael Jackson.
Dressing
I can no longer put on pants standing up. That requires being able to balance on one leg for more than one second, not to mention the ability to hop. I am now working on dressing in a chair. I can put my pants on the floor, slide my feet into the leg openings and pull up. Once the feet appear out the bottom, I can stand and pull them up. I’m getting quite good at it. Bras are another challenge. I used to hook the clasps in the front and then slide them around my middle so they were positioned in the back and the cups were in front. That twisting motion can be quite painful now. I’ve tried some alternatives, including front clasps, undershirts, sports bras. All have some shortcomings. Clasps themselves present a problem to arthritic fingers. Uncontrolled bouncing is uncomfortable, and I suspect elicits some serious eye rolling from observers! So that’s off the table. I’m researching all options, so one of these days I’ll hit on the best solution. I’m also looking for the best way to put on a jacket or coat. I can get the first arm in, but then the garment hangs uselessly down my back. It’s a challenge reaching my other arm around to grab hold of the other half. I am in the process of perfecting a little body twist dance to get that half swinging close enough to my other hand so I can get hold of it to put it on.
Bathroom
Remember learning to control your need to go to the bathroom. I’m working on forgetting that in favor of waiting until the last minute, or dealing with getting blindsided by sudden urges. When my body decides that p—-ping is in order, it warns me with a sudden, unexpected cramp, gas (embarrassing if I’m with others), and then it’s “Katie, bar the door!”) I’m learning if you don’t heed the first warning IMMEDIATELY, you may regret it (the embarrassing part). I still remember a day in late summer when we took our son and grandson to the mountains to pick currants. I was doing just fine. We had only been on the road for 30 minutes when the cramp hit. We reached a fork in the road where there was some road work being done and a there was a porta potty by the side of the road. I said to my husband, pull over there, and I rushed in to use the workers’ facility. It was not the Ritz, but I was sure grateful it was there. I’ll bet the workers were surprised!
When my bladder signals “need to pee”, I’m practicing heading for the bathroom. No more do I linger, wiggle, cross my legs. If I do, the results are unpleasant, and again can result in embarrassment. And of course, my body has decided that I now need to get up in the night at least once. So I stumble to the bathroom in the dark to take care of business. I know where everything is in my house, so I don’t bother to turn on a light. I just go by feel. The other night I made too quick a turn and ran into the wall! Needless to say, in all things bathroom, I am learning a new course of action.
Getting up from a table
You may wonder why it takes older people so long to get up from the table and get moving. We simple can’t do it fast any more. In fact, there have been times when we’ve spent over two hours catching up with old friends at a restaurant when I’ve wondered, in passing, or course, whether I could just remain at the table indefinitely. Anyway, I am perfecting the process of looking graceful as I rise and leave a venue. I rise and slowly reach for my purse, make some final statement, and look around, as if I’m taking in the venue one more time. I am secretly giving my bones time to prepare for what’s coming, and assessing the best way to move forward without running into anything or anyone or falling. Now I take a step, stop, and glance around. Okay, that first step worked. Legs held me up. Knees didn’t buckle. Back is not screaming. I can proceed. I shuffle forward trying to look like I’m gliding gracefully across the floor.
TMI
I used to love hubbub. Dogs barking, kids playing, phone ringing, dryer blowing at home; kids talking, bells ringing, loudspeakers interrupting, at work. Not so much anymore. If the television is on, dogs are moving around, kids are playing, and I’m also required to participate in a conversation, my brain feels like it’s going to explode. My heart starts beating faster, moving towards a panic attack. Too much stimulation. I head to the bathroom, out to the deck, into the garden to take a deep breath. I never realized how wonderful peace and quiet can be! As an adult I was never much of a sleeper (what working mom (married or single) was!. Now I find it hard to get up 5:30, and so nice to just settle back into the covers for a couple hours more. Maybe because nothing hurts when I’m lying there, maybe it’s just the silence.
Older people have a lot of learning and unlearning to do. Please try to remember we are busy learning a lot of new skills that go with grandkids, retirement, health issues. Take it easy on us.
Category: Updates