Wow! I’m 80. When I wake up in the mornings now I check to see whether I’m a ghost. I do a quick body check, and yes, all the aches and pains are still there. Ahhh, the golden years!
Yesterday the nurse asked me if I ever woke up in the morning feeling tired. I looked at her with amazement. I thought I heard her wrong. “I’m 80. I wake up in the morning and check to see if I’m still alive!” Everybody in the room laughed. She wasn’t laughing. I put away my sassy mouth and answered the rest of her questions seriously. Too bad. Everyone is so serious. It’s more fun to be silly.
My newest skill is juggling. There was a time when I could balance three plates on one arm, two in the other, and a package of something in my teeth. Not so now. My debut was a week ago. I had a large container of grapefruit slices on the table. Next to it was my empty cup of soup container, my napkin, paper plate and silverware. Because my mantra is still “Always try to get everything in one try”, I picked up the plate, napkin, silverware and empty soup container in my left hand. In the right, I had the grapefruit container. As I hobbled to the counter, the grapefruit container dislodged from the lid and fell. It landed upright on the kitchen floor. We had our own simulation of Old Faithful. The resulting splash covered the floor, the counter, bar stools, and cabinet doors. Do you have any idea how far the backsplash from an open container can travel? 5+ feet! Wow! Walls and other obstacles inhibit , of course. But really, that’s a 5 foot radius. If we figure the area of a circle, that would be a lot of square feet! But wait. It was a sphere, not a circle. Gigantic! Anyway, it was a lot of work cleaning up. My husband told me “Don’t quit your day job.”
Last night I was was in the refrigerator getting out ingredients for dinner – soft shelled chicken tacos. I had the chicken container in my hand. I reached up for the containers salsa and sour cream. Unfortunately, the sour cream clipped the edge of a package of Swiss cheese slices. The package flipped up in the air. I reached both arms out, frantically trying to catch the package before it hit the floor. Sadly, the sour cream slipped from my fingers and landed directly on my left foot, managing as it fell to shed its lid and turn upside down. The distraction was long enough for the package of cheese to escape my grasp. It bounced off the floor and landed squarely on top of the sour cream. Squish. I was successful in maintaining a tight hold on the chicken and salsa. Cleaning the kitchen floor again.
Still Sliding
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Posted: May 7, 2026 by J Flaugher
Wow! I’m 80. When I wake up in the mornings now I check to see whether I’m a ghost. I do a quick body check, and yes, all the aches and pains are still there. Ahhh, the golden years!
Yesterday the nurse asked me if I ever woke up in the morning feeling tired. I looked at her with amazement. I thought I heard her wrong. “I’m 80. I wake up in the morning and check to see if I’m still alive!” Everybody in the room laughed. She wasn’t laughing. I put away my sassy mouth and answered the rest of her questions seriously. Too bad. Everyone is so serious. It’s more fun to be silly.
My newest skill is juggling. There was a time when I could balance three plates on one arm, two in the other, and a package of something in my teeth. Not so now. My debut was a week ago. I had a large container of grapefruit slices on the table. Next to it was my empty cup of soup container, my napkin, paper plate and silverware. Because my mantra is still “Always try to get everything in one try”, I picked up the plate, napkin, silverware and empty soup container in my left hand. In the right, I had the grapefruit container. As I hobbled to the counter, the grapefruit container dislodged from the lid and fell. It landed upright on the kitchen floor. We had our own simulation of Old Faithful. The resulting splash covered the floor, the counter, bar stools, and cabinet doors. Do you have any idea how far the backsplash from an open container can travel? 5+ feet! Wow! Walls and other obstacles inhibit , of course. But really, that’s a 5 foot radius. If we figure the area of a circle, that would be a lot of square feet! But wait. It was a sphere, not a circle. Gigantic! Anyway, it was a lot of work cleaning up. My husband told me “Don’t quit your day job.”
Last night I was was in the refrigerator getting out ingredients for dinner – soft shelled chicken tacos. I had the chicken container in my hand. I reached up for the containers salsa and sour cream. Unfortunately, the sour cream clipped the edge of a package of Swiss cheese slices. The package flipped up in the air. I reached both arms out, frantically trying to catch the package before it hit the floor. Sadly, the sour cream slipped from my fingers and landed directly on my left foot, managing as it fell to shed its lid and turn upside down. The distraction was long enough for the package of cheese to escape my grasp. It bounced off the floor and landed squarely on top of the sour cream. Squish. I was successful in maintaining a tight hold on the chicken and salsa. Cleaning the kitchen floor again.
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